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if u askin about my bra size u better be planning on takin ur ass down to Victoria’s Secret to buy me some nice bras

So yesterday I ate a copious amount of dairy, and took some Lactaid to prepare myself for the literal shit storm that was about to be brewing.

Yeah, it didn’t work. I spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom wondering: “Was all the sour cream and cheese worth it?”

You bet your sweet ass it was.

So this morning I wake up early to get my oil changed, and while I’m waiting I decide to get the McD’s iced coffee I had been craving for a few days. My stomach still has not forgiven me.
An no, this time it was NOT worth it. Not one bit.

As of right now, dairy and I can no longer be friends. *Cries a million tears for cheese*

I bought some DAIRY-FREE sour cream, or as Jairen calls it, ‘an abomination.’ I thought it was quite good!

Now it’s time to get serious about seeing a doctor for a proper diagnosis instead of relying on Google lol


i’m everyone in this gif



If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity


Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle


benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

"I guess"

I disagree with you but ill let you have this one because I don’t fell like debating anymore with your simple ass (via monitormylife)

I was tagged by bloodheretic and jellybean393 so I guess I’m going to do the challege:

You post 5 pics that you really like of yourself so other people get a big dose of how adorable/cute you are. And now I have to tag 5 people so they do it. That’s how it works

Most of these are already on Tumblr. Got to love a selfie, right?
They all kind of look the same, huh? What can I say, I’m a one trick pony :P

I tag brimeeb, kt—xoxo, stonedotaku, thatweirdcrush, and kristenthegirl

  • me on facebook: i can't swear, i'm friends with too many family members on here
  • me on twitter: probably shouldn't swear that much on here either
  • me on tumblr: this motherfucking grilled cheese is the best fucking grilled cheese i've ever had in my whole fucking goddamn life

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Mahatma Gandhi (via observando)

24. Gemini.USA

And it's not even my birthday....